As the year comes to an end, many people are starting to wonder: is civilization also coming to an end? There have been numerous rumors about what will happen on December 21, 2012; many ideas either contradict or have no relevance to each other–besides the fact that those super-smart Mayans stopped writing out their calendar on this date. Nevertheless, we, The Chief, are sure one theory is correct.
Back when sticks and stones not only broke bones but also built houses, tables and bed frames, the ancient Mayans made the ending date on their calendar December 21, 2012. Many people foolishly believe that this marks the end of the world; however, they have not spent thirty-plus years with Mayan elders, as Drunvalo Melchizedek has. Melchizedek explained the actual prophecies of the Mayan elders in a televised interview.
According to the elders, the world will be destroyed by geo-ecological problems within several years of the December date. They described the beginning of the end being marked by an unusually large blue star. “Comet 17P/Holmes stunned comet watchers across planet Earth earlier this week,” nasa.gov reported in 2007, “On October 24, it increased in brightness over half a million times in a matter of hours.”
“I don’t believe a star marks the end of the world and it’s not a sign because there are plenty of stars and just because one magically turned blue doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world,” skeptical senior Kevin Hastings said, “Blue just means the end of your life when you see it on a pregnancy test.”
“Mayan Elders met and agreed Comet Holmes was the star foretold in their prophecies,” reported december212012.com, “The seven year period has begun.”
A continuation of this theory, posted on the “official December 21, 2012 website,” december212012.com, explains in simple terms exactly what they believe is going to cause the massive damage that will supposedly end civilization as we know it.
The video explains the concept of “solar conveyor belts” which control the magnetic field of the sun, a concept NASA scientist Dr. Mausumi Dikpati discovered. When these belts move too quickly, they create sunspots which are like “electromagnetic storms that shoot out tsunamis,” the scholar narrating the video described.
According to this theory, the sunspots will lead to numerous electromagnetic hurricanes, which will translate to tsunamis all over the globe. At this time, all of Earth will not be able to use electronic communication devices, as occurred in 2007 when the people of Southern China temporarily lost electronic communication use as a result of a solar flare, the video explained.
Without the use of electronic communication devices, senior Scott Kirschner feels that the worst scenario is “Definitely that I can’t Instagram with a great filter of fire and brimstone raining down from the sky.”
“My biggest concern,” expressed senior Danny Blaustein, “is [to] no longer [be] able to pretend to Snapchat on my Blackberry to feel included in the iPhone population.”
Therefore, any person who is intelligent enough to follow this theory should quickly log onto december212012.com and order himself a gas mask for a low price of 36 dollars and 32 cents; even though poisonous and hazardous gases are not mentioned in either theory, the website informs us that it is the newest trend.
Just to be safe, The Chief encourages all people wishing to survive the disasters caused by “consistent hotel-sized tsunamis” to go to the site and purchase their loved ones survival kits for 98 dollars and 99 cents as Christmas and Hanukkah presents. Remember to give them as early gifts, though, since Santa Claus really won’t be coming to town this December!