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Orange soda – The key to winning Mr. Massapequa

Tom Strong-Grinsell, Managing Editor

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Orange soda may be the key to winning Mr. Massapequa – if you are senior Alex Breslau, winner of the sixth annual Mr. Massapequa, that is.

“When we rehearsed, all we drank was orange soda,” Breslau said. His fellow group member Brian McKeon added, “It’s the drink of champs.”

But in all seriousness, Mr. Massapequa is more than just a can of orange soda (or Coke, if you are Mr. Schwartz and perform a stunning magic trick that earns you the title of Mr. Massapequa in the teacher division for the second time).

It is an event that encompasses Massapequa students and teachers in an attempt to unite the individual talents and personalities that make MHS… well, MHS.

Hosts and seniors Rich Staubitz, Stephanie Jarmolow, and Shannon Garrity led the night’s festivities and helped to create excitement among the audience.

“Are you ready to see a good show tonight?” Rich Staubitz asked, encouraging cheering that continued through the Chiefettes’ kickline routine alongside the Mr. Massapequa participants and throughout the rest of the night.

The night started off with the casual-wear portion, for which the guys strutted down the runway to show off their relaxed sense of style. Alex Breslau donned a kilt, a move that could have contributed to his success (unless it was purely the orange soda).

The participants then gathered their props and costumes for the night’s talent portion. Banana suits, fur coats, and giant steak suits may not sound like typical high school event attire, but Mr. Massapequa is not exactly your average high school event.

Senior John Valerie started his act with the aforementioned banana suit and a limbo stick – an interesting combination in itself. He then cleared chairs with a running jump, building to an astounding total of six chairs before he pulled Shannon Garrity up onto the runway for a quick dance.

Junior Max Braunstein stunned the audience with a drum routine he performed on spackle buckets. The talented musician played alongside Mike Cantalupo, Dan Kalin, and Steve Smith until the four danced to Jimmy Cliff’s “I Can See Clearly Now.”

A medley of popular songs filled the gym as seniors Bryan Locher and Steve LaMantia took the stage for an act that left students and staff cheering. A blonde wig, a champagne bottle, and canes all built up to the final moment of the performance when Bryan dramatically dumped a bucket of water over Steve’s head recreating the scene from the movie.

Seniors Alex Breslau, Conor Wetzel, Brian McKeon, and Pat Miller brought the highlight of the night, however, when they donned skirts, wigs, and tank tops as they performed a mix of songs, assuming a different role for each tune. The group exchanged the opening lines to Aqua’s “Barbie Girl,” and danced to Enrique Iglesia’s “Do You Know,” (ping-pong paddle included) and Haddaway’s “What is Love,” among many others.

“It was really great to have us all win this,” Alex said. “We put the work in, and we got the win.”

Impressive acts continued with Mr. Schwartz’s stand-out card magic trick that allowed him to read junior Daniel DiBendetto’s mind as he showcased a five-of-hearts card emerging on a sheet of paper. The students’ shocked reaction may have encouraged Mr. Schwartz’s success  — he was crowned Mr. Massapequa in the teacher’s division.

“I’m really pleased. Everyone was fantastic and it as great to be here,” Mr. Schwartz said. “I had an amazing time and every one of the contestants were great.”

“It was a huge success,” Ms. Zapulla, organizer of the event, said. “It was a great show. The kids were great; the teachers were great; the audience was great; and we have two great winners to represent Mr. Massapequa.”

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Massapequa High School's chief source of news.
Orange soda – The key to winning Mr. Massapequa